This is a classic among radio and television producers who have had to work with surly talent over the years. Orson Welles is a hero of mine for two reasons: 1) He made the quintessentially American film; and 2) He peaked early - so I can identify. By the point in his career that you hear him in the clip above, he was basically a rotund pitch-man for anything and everything that tried to seem classy. This is the studio audio of a marginally tipsy and extraordinarily belligerent Orson reading the voiceover copy for a European TV commercial promoting frozen veggies. Welles, ever the director, is unimpressed with the pacing and cadence of the copy that seems to counter what’s happening on the playback.

It’s interesting enough to hear the process, but that interest really pegs when Orson makes the offer that if someone there can show him how to sensibly read a line he will “go down” on them. Listen for it. It’s studio magic.

I was once lucky enough to do a radio interview with Maurice LaMarche, the übertalented voice actor who was - among many other things - Brain from Pinky and the Brain. It’s no secret that the Brain was vocally similar to a manic Welles, which LaMarche admitted to. He then told me about this clip, which is the audio equivalent of a much-loved holiday movie among voice actors. 

And for you completists, this clip may sound familiar because it was parodied in the cartoon “The Critic,” where Welles, voice-acted by LaMarche, said that the peas were “full of green pea-ness,” eliciting giggles all around. 

See it here:

Enjoy this classic from the vaults.